I’ve debated whether or not to post this. I can’t post my whole pitch for obvious reasons. Not great to have my whole book, hooks and ending and all, sitting out there on the Internet when I’m trying to sell it!
I am insanely nervous about doing my pitch. For some reason I just can’t get it down as to what you are supposed to say when you walk in there.
So I opted for humor. I wrote a whole role play (an idea I got from Randy I’s blog the other day, his is much better!). Don’t worry. I don’t actually plan on saying all of this of course. I just did it for fun to get the silliness out of my system. Now I can make myself write my REAL pitch.
Housekeeping notes: the …’s are where I deleted parts of my role play as to not give away key parts of the book. The rest you would know by reading my onesheet or back cover copy.
Krista walks into the room.
Agent: Krista, is it?
Krista: Hi! It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Handsome Agent Dude! (this whole scenerio assumes Agent/Editor is male… )
Agent: Nice to meet you too. Are you enjoying the conference so far?
Krista: Absolutely! It pretty much rocks!
Agent: So, do you have a pitch for me?
Krista: Actually, I do! It’s a romantic comedy about two complete opposites who meet in an Internet chatroom.
Agent: Wow. In a chatroom? Isn’t that dangerous?
Krista: Well, that’s where my husband and I met, and we’ve been married for 9 years and have three beautiful daughters, so I would say it worked out for us just fine.
Agent: Great! So, tell me more.
Krista: My book focuses on a ‘by chance’ meeting. Neither were looking for love. Jack and Jenny meet on a Saturday morning and hit it off right away. Jenny is a very non-adventurous girl who has a fetish for Garage Sales, and Jack is a tough guy who loves the outdoors.
Agent: Whoa, hold on. If Jack is a tough guy who likes being outside, what is he doing spending a Saturday in a chatroom?
Krista: Ohh, but I’m glad you asked Mr. Handsome Agent Dude!! You see, 3 years ago Jack’s brother and sister-in-law were killed in a car accident. Kat, his niece, is now his responsibility. His parents are missionaries so he’s pretty much raising her by himself. It has severely limited his normal ‘bachelor’ activities.
Agent: Ahh, makes a little more sense.
Krista: And I haven’t even gotten to the good part.
Agent: What? You mean there’s more to this wonderful awesome pitch?
Krista: There sure is! You see, Jenny struggles herself with the whole fear of the Internet thing. I mean, really, what if he’s this idiot like the guy on the “so much cooler online” country song?
Agent: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.
Krista: Well, he’s not. He sends her his picture. They talk on the phone. They fall in love virtually. But then, Jenny notices something.
Agent: Ooooo, what does she notice??
Krista: (dramatic spooky voice) A car. Following her. She is convinced that Jack is really a perverted stalker who is out to get her.
Agent: WOW. Ok, is he?
Krista: *grin* Maybe. Anyway, Jenny’s best-friend, Paige, convinces them to go on a roadtrip to Nashville, where Jack lives, to find out who the REAL Jack is.
….. (you have to read the book to find out what happens… we’ll skip ahead to what you KNOW will happen… it is a romance after all!)
Krista: Jack and Jenny get to meet finally, in person, and of course share their first date and first kiss, and all that mushy stuff (within good Christian romance guidelines of course).
Agent: So they don’t have sex?
Krista: (face turns red) NO! They don’t! Okay Mr Mind in the gutter Agent!
Agent: Just making sure. (Agent looks a little too proud of his question, typical male)
Krista: (rolls eyes) Anyway,
…. (this is where she tells the final ending.)
Agent: Oh, crud, our fifteen minutes is almost up!
Krista: Well, that’s ok. I have this rediculously awesome onesheet here for you to look at if you’d like, as well as my business card!
Agent: Great! I’ll take a look at it. Here’s my card as well. I’m definitely interested! If you can write as well as you can spin a story, I’m hooked!
Krista walks away skipping and singing the Hallelujah Chorus. God is good!
Agent: Well, that sounds like a great story, Krista. I’m not sure it’s the kind of book I’m looking for at the moment. But good luck!
Krista: That’s ok. It was great meeting you and getting a chance to chat! C-ya around!
They shake hands and the meeting is over. Krista walks away, calmly, probably trying not to cry, but telling herself that it’s ok. Just means that wasn’t the write agent/editor for her! God knows!