I know this is a loaded, open ended question, but those are the best kind!
I am intimidated by MANY things, er, should I say many PEOPLE! I would term these as people I think are more important than me.
Ok, before you post some comment about our worth in God etc (actually, before you post it, please go see last nights post… it will give you my feelings on the matter)… Anyway before you berate me, hear me out.
We all measure ‘importance’ by different values. Much of this is how we are raised, and the experiences we have, but I think we all would agree that the amount of POWER someone has directly relates to how important we think they are.
If they have the power to fire you from your job, they are pretty darn important. If they have the power to hire you for a job, again, very important. If they have the power to, oh, say arrest and put you in jail, yep, lots of power!
God of course is the most important, and, well, wouldn’t you know it, the most powerful too!
I try to remind myself that if I honor and obey God, I shouldn’t be intimidated by him. If I do my job well, my boss shouldn’t look so scary to me. In school, if I obeyed the rules, the principle shouldn’t seem so looming. If I am driving the speed limit, I shouldn’t freak out when I see a cop (ha ha, yeah right, like that will ever happen!)
So, why do we still flip out when one of these people approach us? Why are we still awed by them? Yep, it’s the power.
Case in point: Yesterday, on Terry Whalin’s wonderful blog, I posted a comment to his blog. I try not to do this too often (I don’t want to annoy him…) but he has some great stuff there too! Anyway, I always like to check back later to see if someone else replied (or if he happened to show mercy and reply to my random comment…) and low and behold, there was a reply.
But, it wasn’t by Terry (although that would have been awesome too!). It was by Michael Hyatt, President of Thomas Nelson here in Nashville. And, get this, HE MENTIONED MY NAME! Yes, that is right, at the end of his comment he wrote, “And Krista is right,” etc.. The rest didn’t even matter. He typed my name!!
So, after I squealed and ran around the house for a minute, I lectured myself. I was acting childish and unprofessional. I shouldn’t let a big name intimidate me. I felt like Ugly Betty, “I’m a intellegent, confident business woman…” Well, then I said, who cares, it’s my own house and I can do what I want, so squealed a little more.
I have this same issue at work. Last year I was promoted to Payroll Manager and now report to our CAO. I have this weird habit of emailing him updates on our department instead of bucking up and actually talking with him (his office is right next to mine, I seriously am just chicken). I do talk to him when necessary, but I am still in this state of “Oh my gosh he is so important and I am just this little peon not worthy of the dirt on his shoes…”
I am getting better at this though. I am trying to be myself and not be so intimidated, and remembering my own admonition from yesterday’s post that God has made us worthy, and people, no matter of their power here on earth, are just God’s creation. We are all in the same boat. We all put our pants on one leg at a time (although when I’m in a hurry, I’ve been known to try to do both at one time… That’s not a pretty sight, trust me…)
But good grief, it isn’t always easy! For all you “big” people out there, thank you for making us little people’s day. Little things like our name in a comment, a pat on the back, a big publishing contract (ahem), or just a word of encouragement really make our day!
Oh, Krista! I’ve been away from your blog for a couple of days and look at what I missed! Your last two posts are two very important issues and they surely go hand-in-hand.
I, too, suffered huge esteem issues. My biggest desire was to feel like I belonged somewhere – like I was loved. If I could’ve only heard Leeland’s song then. It would’ve changed my life.
And that poses another question (maybe your next blog topic, hmm?): If I would have been more confident in myself back in the “not-so-good ol days”, WOULD I BE WHO I AM TODAY? Yes, my life would’ve been happier during those years, but would I have developed the yearning to create these worlds of fiction if my life was so totally cool? Yes, I still have confidence issues. Yes, I’m intimidated by anyone who could pose as a source for a confrontation. But I have learned (and I preach this to my third graders every year) that God uses every situation in your life to make you EXACTLY who He wants you to be.
I probably did what you mentioned in your blog that you didn’t want us to do. Sorry! Just know this: after having met you I know that you are a beautiful person with a sweet spirit. After having read two of your chapters (I haven’t gotten a chance to get to three yet) I know that you are a very talented writer. I can tell by the way you talk about your darling baby girls that you are a wonderful mother and even though you don’t get to spend much time with your husband, you are a loving wife.
And now I am blessed to have you as my friend, too!
It is easy to feel intimidated at times but whenever I face those situations I draw on what Chuck Swindoll told me during a face to face lunch meeting years ago. He said, “Terry, there are no heroes in the body (of Christ). We’re all like a bunch of guys rolling around in the back of a pick up truck trying to get our stuff together.”
People are just people–even underneath whatever they have done.
Thanks for the link and your post.
Author of Book Proposals That Sell
The Writing Life
WOW! Thank you both for your comments, they were very uplifting on a very trying day for me! Jen, wow, you hit it right on the head. Our experiences, the things that are difficult and hard make us who we are today.
So many things that I put in my books come from my experiences, the good AND the bad. Things I thought were horrible going through them, now make great humorous subplots in my books. My personal issue in my writing that I am overcoming is the draw to write from my fears. God has laid a great burden on my heart to write from my dreams, from that crazy silly place that God has given me to make people smile. My fears are not from God, so I need to not wallow in them but overcome them. But that is a WHOLE other blog topic! (it is also the theme of my first book, overcoming fear)
Terry, thanks so much for your encouragement! I had a crazy day today and your words were a great encouragement that I needed. You are so right; we are all just people, God’s creation, no one more important than the other in God’s eyes. Thanks again!
Comments are closed.