Mom guilt is tough, y’all.
I think most of us have had it.
….that first day of school when everyone else has these cutsie little chalkboards with curly handwriting on it that says the age, date, and “what-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up” and all that stuff on it when you are all like, crap, was I supposed to take a picture? (after your kid is on the bus of course. Not to mention the fact that your kid is on the BUS with a bunch of other heathens instead of you sacrificing three hours of your time to drop them off in the car rider line…)
…or when you go have lunch with your kid at school–and your kid is eating the PB&J, Cheetos, and Twinkie you packed for them while the kid across the table has this neatly packed lunch with perfectly cut cheese slices and every food group except the “rarely eat from this section” represented.
I feel your pain.
I’ve been there. I’m there pretty much every day.
(and by the way — if you’re an expert chalkboard writing/car rider line/pack AMAZING lunches for your kids momma… GOOD JOB!!! Seriously. You rock, Momma! There is no shame in doing awesome things for your kids!)
Here’s the thing I’m learning: Those moms? Who look like they have it ALL together?
Not really anyway.
I’d venture to guess if we asked them, they would have a VERY LONG LIST of all the places where they feel like they fall short, and it would be around the same size list as the rest of us. It just might be in different areas.
So, in a moment of honesty here, I’m gonna give you a peek at THIS (pointing to myself) imperfect mother.
(and one more thing: feel free to insert whatever title here — because this doesn’t apply just to moms. Imperfect dad/grandparent/<<insert chose career here>> — none of us are perfect. Not a one!)
Confession #1: At least once a month, I have to grab clothes out of the dirty hamper to put on a kid because I’m behind on laundry. I use the smell test. (and if it’s iffy, a couple minutes in the dryer with a nice-smelling-dryer-sheet helps.)
Confession #2: We have pizza once a week for dinner because it’s easy and I need a think-free-night. And there isn’t a veggie in sight unless you count the tomato sauce as a vegetable (which I do because it makes me feel better…)
Confession #3: I’m REALLY REALLY excited if my bathrooms get cleaned once a month. Except when important company comes over, which is company that does not include close family members. (Sorry Mom and Dad.)
Confession #4: I refuse to let my kids in the bathroom while I pee or take a shower. I know so many moms complain of no privacy for their bathroom tasks. BUT I CRAVE MY BATHROOM TIME, y’all. I have a lock and I use it all. the. time. And if I REALLY want silence I’ll lock both my bedroom AND my bathroom door so I can barely hear the banging since there are two doors and a whole room in between me and the begging-for-me-to-tell-them-what-is-for-dinner child.
Confession #5: I have slightly over-exaggerated my answer to the doctor when they ask how many servings of fruits and vegetables my kids have daily. I will say, God has convicted me of this in recent years. I now just say, “Not as many as they should. Sue me.” The doctor usually laughs and tells me to keep trying. They get it. Most of them anyway. If they don’t, then find a new doctor with a sense of humor.
Confession #6: As I was typing this, I looked over into the kitchen and found my youngest preparing this lovely bowl of food (yogurt and sliced American cheese…) for a snack all by herself. And now she’s eating it. I don’t know if this makes me imperfect or not but it was quite funny so I wanted to include it. #lifeistooshort #atleastsheiseating #formergtubebaby (she just told her big sister that she made stew….)
Confession #7: Sometimes I say the BOTH of the “S” words as well as the “D” word… and don’t apologize for it. (Stupid, shut-up, and dumb…. in case you are wondering)
Confession #8: I think I turned in like 1 or 2 reading/homework logs for my kindergartner last year out of the … what 40-ish weeks of school? We read books… most of the time… I just never remembered to send the logs back in. So thankful that K is more a pass/fail kind of thing than a letter grade!
Confession #9: I. hate. ironing. So much so that I don’t do it. (Hello — dryer for 10 minutes with a damp towel….) A few years ago, one of my daughters found the ironing board stuffed in a closet and asked what it was for. Then, because I never used it, I decided to sell it at a garage sale. Last year, my almost 16-year-old asked for an iron/ironing board for her birthday ’cause she was tired of wrinkly clothes. My sister got her one for Christmas. A month later, I found my old ironing board back behind some junk in my closet. Evidently, I hadn’t sold it….
Confession #10: I’ve seriously contemplated starting an anti-foody blog showing all the non-beautiful creations of my meals that I make because I am most definitely not a prolific cook. Here is a sample of what it would look like, complete with the “distressed” kitchen table (which is popular… right? No matter that it is just this way from me scrubbing at it for years to get stuck-on food off…. finger-paint off…. crayon off… non-washable-permanent-marker off….)
Okay, so there are a few of MY confessions. I’m not proud of them. Many of them I’m actively working on improving. (especially the dirty-laundry one. It’s been OVER A MONTH since someone has had to wear dirty clothes to school. This is a huge accomplishment!)
But hey, if I was perfect, I’d have zero room for improvement. AND I’d have zero need for God.
It is safe to say I will always be able to improve and will continue to need God desperately.
Do you have some “honest” moments to confess? I find that sharing our imperfect moments and laughing at them with each other helps to let us know that we aren’t alone!
It’s a safe place here.
I promise. (Cause I have this fabulous thing called the POWER-TO-DELETE-MEAN-PEOPLE-COMMENTS. WHOOP!)
(and remember! All blog and newsletter subscribers as of 10/1/17 will be entered to WIN my super-fun-giveaway. Details here!)
Love it! My dirty laundry pile is referred to as “the clothes mountain” if that tells you anything. I get scolded by the dental hygienist about the kids’ teeth brushing habits. I don’t iron either and pay extra for dress shirts for hubby that are perfect right out of the dryer. We forget to take the garbage can to the road at least once a month, thereby ensuring we live in a dump all week. And those are just a few right off the top of my head.
The Clothes mountain… Yes! Dentist: Another confession– I really really really want to give each of my kids oreo cookies to eat for a snack on the way to the dentist sometimes. Can you imagine them sitting down and opening wide and the hygienist having to deal with that? Seriously, I get the giggles just thinking about it. One of these days….. My hubby is not a pastor like yours, so only wears dress shirts for weddings or funerals. So. Very. Thankful. Garbarge: I don’t care about that. I delegated garbage duty to my husband on Day 1 after our honeymoon almost 18 years ago. Taking the garbage out for him is a true act of love and one I do sparingly so he doesn’t get used to it… LOL
Imperfect Moms of the World, unite!
I’ve been here for a long time and will be here for a long time….but God’s grace and mercy are new every morning. Amen, anyone?
I. Am. Dying. Laughing!! I’ll just add my 2 cents to your confessions. #1 Thanks for the tips of the dryer sheet. I just leave it at sniffing. 2 & 4, I concur. 6. Hilarious. 7. My kiddos remind me when I use these words and how I shouldn’t. 8. If it’s not in their agenda, I’m not going to remember to return it. 9. I haven’t used one in 11 years. It’s the only reason I try and get the clothes out of the dryer quickly so I don’t have to. But if all else fails dry it for a few minutes and voila, wrinkle free.
YES! I try to get clothes out of the dryer super fast for that same reason. Alas, I succeed about 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time I just put it on another 10 minutes as well. (although about 50% of THOSE times I forget again.. and have to do another 10 minutes… or I just say heck with it and we are wrinkly that week. Honestly, the latter happens a lot.)
I let Lucas scream through my entire shower today, and I don’t really feel bad about it. I’m pretty sure Will’s pants have stains on them today, and Emmalin is wearing dirty socks. She’s also wearing a dress and combat boots, but I digress. Being a mom is HARD! We all need to stick together.
Lucas: Crying is good for the lungs. Or that’s what I’ve been told.
Will: He’s a boy. He would have stains on them by the time he got on the bus anyway!
Emmalin: Those combat books TOTALLY cover up the dirty socks. SCORE!!!
Yup, momming is hard. BUT SO WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel ya on *most* of those that you listed! I’m good at getting laundry done, but I ALWAYS use the dryer to de-wrinkle. We order pizza occasionally, but would order it more if the $ was in the budget! 😉 I settle for cereal for dinner on a regular basis because I hate to cook.
See, about a year ago I decided to try to be a better mom by refusing to buy all the sugar-crap cereal. So we do a lot of cheerios now. My kids aren’t huge fans but they eat it anyway. They would HATE ME FOREVER if I made them eat it for dinner too!!! We DO have “breakfast” night about once a week (eggs… pancakes. waffles… we vary up the meal.)
And for pizza… $5 Little Ceasars… or $2.99 Aldi frozen pizza… or homemade pizza (which isn’t easy but it’s still pizza and still not healthy but cheaper, HAHAHA) We also buy pizza place giftcards when Kroger is having 4x fuel points because that makes me feel like I’m not spending so much on the splurge since I get cheaper gas cause of it, HAHAHA #mompizzahacks
This is hilarious, Krista! And I totally have done a lot of those things when my kids were younger. They’re all grown and gone now, so I don’t have to deal with a lot of those things now. My standards of cleanliness have taken a bit of a dip as I’ve gotten older. I don’t vacuum or dust as often–so if you come to visit me, leave your white gloves at home, so you won’t be tempted to check for dust. I do try to keep the kitchen counters wiped off, and things clean enough that the Board of Health won’t come to check up on us. My husband is pretty good at cleaning up after himself, so that’s handy. See–there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I find that I’m much better at grandparenting than I was at parenting! 😀
LOL! Yes, I will say, as my kids get older, it IS getting better. The two oldest will throw their own clothes into the washer when they are out of clean clothes, so WHOOP for that!!!
My mother and husband insisted the house be spotless at all times. It’s a fine goal for some, but I preferred “being” with my kids as much as possible while they were growing up. Little Suzie Homemaker has been overrated for long enough.
My husband would be sorely disappointed if he wanted it to be spotless, LOL. And totally agree, I LOVE being with my kids and that’s SO much more important than a neat and tidy house.