I LOVED reading everyone’s school experiences yesterday:-) I did, however, find it interesting that no one mentioned the cool phenomenon that is Kindergarten.
You see, my middle child, Lacy starts Kindergarten this week.
And, unlike my eldest who was ready to boot me out the door when she got to her class, my Lacy is afraid. I mean, REALLY afraid. She comes to me crying out of the blue with her little lip quivering, “But Mommy, I don’t want to go to Kindergarten.”
I asked her several times why not, and the only response I’ve been able to hug out of her was, “I don’t know if it will be fun.”
We all know, since we’ve experienced it, that Kindergarten CAN be fun. Good grief, you color, have recess, have story time, play time at centers. Kindergarten RULES.
But explaining this to a petrified five-year-old isn’t easy. She’s even had the benefit of seeing her sister go to school in year’s past and loving it.
So, I ask myself, why? My daughter isn’t overly “clingy” so I don’t think it’s attachment issues. I really think it’s the fear of the unknown. We can tell her till we’re blue in the face about how wonderful school will be, but until she is able to experience it for herself, there is still that doubt, that fear, that “Will I be good enough?” question that eeks into her brain.
**Bringing it back to writing**
Isn’t writing like that sometimes? To go with the theme of conferences, this can SO be true for newbies, or even unpubs going their second year (points large arrow over own head.) What if the agent/editors hate me? What if no one wants to be my friend? What if I go and it totally bombs? What if I learn nothing and I waste all that money? What if… what if… what if?
Even in sending off a query to an agent, what if they hate it? It’s an unknown, and it’s pretty freaky at times.
The what if’s can be debilitating.
But I’m trying to teach my daughter, and myself, that God is Lord over all our what-if’s. Even though I don’t know, He does. I have peace about it when I pray, when I give the circumstance and the outcome over to God and let him hold it in his capable hands. If a pitch goes horribly wrong, well, God already knew it would happen. And he knows what’s best for us, so I’m cool with that (even though it does sting…) When you get a rejection letter, it’s a big gulp, but God knew that wasn’t the right person. Tis okay.
And I dare say reality is almost NEVER worse than my fears. Which is good, cause my fears and imagination can run crazy (picture Krista dreaming of agent throwing proposal on floor and grinding it into shreds, telling her how horrible it was… see, it’s NEVER THAT bad!)
Discussion: What are your fears, your what-if’s?