Way too much

Have you ever gotten to the point that your brain shuts down?

Mine feels like it is reaching that infamous mark.

I am at heart a multi-tasker. Most days I can be doing five things at one time and I thrive on it. When someone comes to my desk with something, I have no problem taking my brain off much current project, switching gears to answer the question, then switching right back. It is just how I’m wired I guess.

But even I am reading my breaking point. I have so much I WANT to get done and am realizing that there just aren’t enough hours in the day. My problem is, there isn’t anything I want (or can) take away. Oh, I’m sure there IS, but that takes time and brain effort to figure out what chaff can be weeded out of my days.

What I have done:

To help combat this, I do many things. First, I am a great prioritizer. Well, in my eyes I am. For those things that get put down the list on my priorities, it doesn’t seem like such a great thing.

So at work, this is what I did most recently. My desk looked like Hurricane Bertha had just landed, minus the water. The priority of organizing my desk had taken second shelf along time ago (I’ve been minus key staff members from 2 – 4 months). Last week, when my newest staff member was on vacation, everything came to a huge head.

I couldn’t take it anymore. It was too much for even me.

My solution?

I cleaned my desk. Friday morning when I entered my office, desk was 100% clean. There was not one piece of paper on the top. I was so proud.

I know what you are thinking. Hurray for Krista!

But no.

One glance at my floor told a different story. I took EVERYTHING, minus the stuff already organized in folders, and put it one big huge heaping pile on the floor. The heck with the important stuff. Who cares at that point? It was all important, all had to be dealt with.

So, all day Friday, between all the other current issues that came to me to be taken care of, I widdled away at my pile.

I think I got the top two things off the pile.

And added about 10 more things at the end of the day.

Depressing.

BUT! There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am fully staffed. Now, we just have to train everyone and that just takes time.

What I NEED to do is just stay really late one day to put things back in order. But that is difficult to do. I am behind royally at home too. Kids have been gone this week and even that hasn’t helped me as much as it should have.

There are brief moments that I wonder if I should put my writing on hold. Maybe it IS too much. Maybe I’m chasing a far off dream that was never meant to be. Maybe I’m being selfish using my time to write, blog, network and website stuff.

But then I am reminded that this is what God has called me to do. It is the stupid mean devil trying to get me down, trying to overwhelm me and shut me up. He doesn’t want me to succeed. He is devilishly happy when I fail.

So I charge on, and the power of God goes with me. God will not foresake, because he loves us and wants GOOD things for his children. He leads us and answers prayers.

I am praying a lot these days.

Side note: I do love my job. I like what I do, I like making a difference. There is are seasons in your jobs where you are more busy, and other seasons that aren’t quite so. I know I’m just in a more busy season and am fine with that. I guess my true feelings come in that I worry about the adequacy that I am doing. My integrity means the world to me. I never want someone to look at me and think, “Man, she is slacking,” or “Good grief, she can’t even do her job.”

Is it pride? Maybe, a little.

So, here’s to some rest, some relief, and a bit of relaxation.

It all starts again on Monday!