It’s only a few weeks away.
THE BIG R DAY for The Engagement Plot.
Armpits are sweaty 24/7 at this point.
Stomach should be about 30 pounds lighter since it’s been busy doing all sorts of crazy dance moves in its nervous state.
Brown-paper-bags are at ready position to help with hyperventilating issues.
Book releases are no joke folks.
It’s a lot of pressure.
What if everyone hates your books?
What if no one buys it?
What if it just sits there with stagnant Amazon rankings BECAUSE no one is buying it?
What if everyone says they LOVE the book but only because they don’t want to hurt your feelings?
WHAT IF YOUR BOOK BABY IS UGLY??
I think I need that paper bag y’all.
So yes. I’m officially in full-on prepare-for-book-launch mode. SIXTEEN MORE DAYS until The Engagement Plot officially releases!!!!
I thought you might like to see a little sneak peek into what may happen during this time for authors. Each of us is a little different, but I think this is a fairly decent summary.
I present to you:
TEN WAYS AUTHORS PREPARE FOR BOOK LAUNCHES
1.) They buy a lot of deodorant. (see above sweating note)
2.) They spend hours-upon-hours-upon hours deciding HOW MUCH is TOO MUCH posting on social media about their books. Because no one wants to get unfollowed because they are annoying their followers too much. But if an author doesn’t annoy them enough then no one buys their book. Oh the pressure. Oh the worry. Oh the catch-22-ism of it all.
3.) Prepare memes to share on social media. But not too much. See #2.
4.) Check Amazon sales rankings to see how book preorder sales are going. This isn’t really preparing, but it is done every 2 hours or so in the meantime and takes up a precious 20-30 seconds each time so needs to be mentioned.
5.) Resist the urge to read your book. And if they aren’t successful, they start it and see EVERY SINGLE GLARING ERROR (or word choice they would now do differently) that they didn’t catch in the 10,000 times they read the book prior to it being too-late to revise.
6.) Eat copious amounts of chocolate. (especially if #5 was a failure)
7.) Spend hours trying to pick out perfectly themed items to giveaway with the various release/launch/blog parties they will have over the next month and trying to be careful not to spend more than they will make on the book for its entire life cycle on the dadgum parties. Which could be easier than you think depending on how #4 is going.
8.) Try to figure out how to beg bloggers to host them (and their book) on the bloggers blog to help spread the word without SOUNDING like they are too needy. Even though the author really is.
9.) Google “<insert book title>” a bajillion times.
10.) Pray. Then realize that most of the previous 9 things were completely unnecessary because prayer and trusting God should really be #1 on the list.
Authors– What crazy things do YOU do to prepare for book-launch….?
Readers– Fretting and fretting then remembering you SHOULD be praying and trusting is not limited to just authors and book releases. What things have you been fretting about? I’d love to help encourage you!!