The current season of “The Bachelor” could not have come at a greater time.

I’m hoping it will bring me a great amount of inspiration for my current work-in-progress!!

Yes, I know, you can stop rolling your eyes now.

Seriously, the book I’m currently working is, well, a little daring, methinks. My agent might totally put the cabosh on it when she reads some of it! But, well, it doesn’t hurt to try, ay?

It has a dating-reality-tv theme… with a twist. Instead of going through the process of the actual “show,” my book will deal with the gritty and not-so-fun aftermath of what being on the show does to two individuals.. currently named William and Hanna.

One of the spiritual “themes” in the book will be about the fine line between “sin of judgmentalism and the sin of promoting (or accepting)
sin,” and I quote that because a sweet writer named Julia put it in that fantastic way the other day, and I super loved it.

When is it “okay” or “right” to call out a fellow Christian on their sin, and when does that calling-on-the-carpet turn to being judgmental?

I’ll be honest. I’m not an expert. But I’m learning a lot exploring the topic as I write this book, and taking some time to examine my own heart. 

Curious as to your thoughts. 

How do you decide whether to confront a brother or sister in Christ about sin, or when doing so would be judgmental? 

Consider your answers assistance in researching my next book!! 🙂



  1. I'm not watching it but I hope it ends up a positive look at Christianity rather than made into another 'bashing' event. Reality shows pick minutes from each conversation –out of context, if needed– to make drama.

    I look forward to your recap at the end of the season.

    1. On one end, I totally agree. It makes me sad that it ends up being a "Christians are prude" kind of thing. That wasa ctually the inspiration to the book I'm working on!

      On the other hand, I expect no less. The "world" doesn't understand what we do and why we do it, and it is laughable to them. I get that. God didn't me on this planet to make the world love me, but to be a servant and to show THEM the love of CHRIST.

      It saddens me to see Christians lately trying to get the world to "like" them… Um, that isn't the point.

      But that is a WHOLE other blog post!

  2. I recently had to deal with a (now former) close friend doing this, which made me really figure out when its appropriate.

    I believe you should rebuke Christians (NOT the unsaved…people who do this boggle my mind) when they are in clear moral sin (ie., adultery) but there comes a slippery grey area when its just personal conviction, and that's where I think we bend. I come from a hyper-conservative background, where if someone doesn't cross their t's and dot their i's exactly like you, they're obviously in SIN. (Because we obviously have the monopoly on spiritual wisdom. ;))

    Anyway, convictions are a grey area and I believe the Lord has to be the one to convict, not us. If we try to force them on other people we don't help them, we just look like judgmental snobs.

    Just my two cents!

    1. Agreed, standing in judgement of those who don't know Christ is like telling a kid playing in mud, "Hey, you're dirty!"

      Um, NO DUH! 🙂

      I agree with your assessment, although "clear moral sin" has been distorted lately and the line is getting blurred in many Christian circles. That creates a more perplexing issue, me thinks.

  3. The above comment is great 🙂 I too have been in the world of ultra conservatism and it aint pretty!

    She made a great point about rebuking only Christians. Too often, we Christians expect an unsaved individual to behave as if they are. Whaaaa??? Of course, we're also talking sin, not breaking the law. An unsaved person obviously needs rebuking if they are breaking the law.

    What really busts my chops in the whole rebuking sin arena is when someone who is being judged hollers "JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED!!" People use this as a tool to tell me that I shouldn't judge another. That scripture is simply saying make sure your own life is right in that area before you go rebuking another. If I have a sin problem with gossip, I am NOT the right candidate to rebuke my fellow Christian who has a problem with gossip. In addition, you also need to be sure to follow the ground rules put forth in scripture for this. Discuss it one on one with the person first…if it doesn't work, take a person with you. Then two…then it goes before the church.

    Sin issues definitely need to be dealt with…but lovingly and with understanding.

    My 2 cents 🙂

    1. "Sin issues definitely need to be dealt with…but lovingly and with understanding."

      LOVE THAT!!!

      And really, I think that is the overriding key.

      With love.

      So many times, we do NOT come at a sin issue through the eyes of love, but instead through the eyes of disgust or criticism or even a self-righteous anger.

  4. I think if you pray about it and feel God, by HIS Spirit, is leading you to approach them and it comes from a heart of love, it is good and of God. When the Spirit is not leading and you don't feel love in your heart towards the person and as a part of the reason you want to approach them, then likely its not what you should do.

  5. I think the most important thing (aside from LOTS of prayer and the leading of the Holy Spirit) is to speak the truth in LOVE. Relationships where your love for them is known are the most appropriate for this type of confrontation. If you haven't earned the right to speak, you shouldn't. We are ALL sinners— and truly, the ground is very level at the foot of the cross. If this angle is used, and LOVE covers it all, then it's not "judgement"— it's accountability. Walking this "Christian walk" in relationship with fellow believers is very much meant to be a two-way street. 🙂

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