Ten Ways to Ensure My Book Flops



I’m not a book marketing/sales expert.

I know, SHOCKER!!!

I’d venture a guess that a lot of authors are in the same boat. We try… but a lot of it is guess and check. And maybe I’m wrong and I’m alone, but my passion is writing— not being a saleswoman.

While I’m still doing the whole “guess-and-check” thing to figure out how to get the word out about my book (and to convince people it’s worth purchasing)…

I decided to make a list of tactics I need to stay away from.

Not only are they unwise ideas… but they also made me giggle coming up with them.

And laughter is never a bad thing!

TEN ways I can ensure my book totally, completely, inexplicably flops

10.) Change my book title to “50 Shades of Faith…”

9.) Schedule Facebook posts for every 2 minutes for the next 60 days. No better way to annoy people into not buying than massive overposting!!

8.) Focus my marketing efforts on standing on a street corner with a poster that says “BUY MY BOOK.”

7.) Take hostages. “Buy my book or I’ll shoot!”

6.) Lawn signs. Ya know those signs contractors use? “Another job by Mr. Painterman!” Instead, ask readers to put, “I read A Side of Faith today!” in their lawns.

5.) List my books myself on Amazon as “collectable” items for $100 each. (this is almost a true story… I found Sandwich, with a Side of Romance listed for about $150 collectable the other day. I giggled… but alas, they’ve taken that posting off. LOL. I’m fairly certain it wasn’t because they sold them….)

4.) Door-to-Door sales…

3.) Use “God told me that you are supposed to buy my book…” as a sales gimmick.

2.) Cry. A lot. To everyone I meet. Tell them I’m crying because my book isn’t selling, and hope that they will then go and buy it to make me feel better (but mostly just to make me stop crying so they can get peace.)

And the number one way to ensure my book completely flops is…


Yup. Just like that. Quit. Unpublish the book. Take it off all outlets where it can be purchased.

While all those ideas above are truly horrible ways to try to sell a book, this one is the worst by far.

It is only usurped in its status as “worst idea” by its sister idea of “Don’t try in the first place.”

I can market and try to sell my book until I’m bluer than a smurf, but the only thing I can do WRONG is give up on what God has called me to do.

God has called to write novels that bring him glory. And furthermore, God’s called me to publish what I’ve written.

Last week, I’ll be honest. I was fretting. Being 100% responsible for “sales” of something like a book is a LOT of pressure, especially since I view this as my part-time work-at-home job to help contribute to our family finances.

But in my fretting, God kept whispering something to me.

“I’ve gone before you, Krista.”

Over and over, I heard those words. I can try as hard as I can, and I SHOULD try as hard as I can, but I can’t measure my success in book sales or money made.

I can only measure my success in how obediant I am to what God has called me to do.

The rest of it is out of my hands, which is GREAT, because God’s hands are SO much more capable of mine.

What about you?

What are YOU called to do? 

may not be an expert. You might not know how to do it all. And I
promise, you’re going to go through times when you feel like a failure,
when you ask, is it worth it?
At the end of the day,
don’t give up. It might not look exactly how you thought it would. The
calling might end up being something totally different, even.

But don’t chicken out… and don’t give up.

(picture by freedigitalphotos.net)