Oh, I think I just got a few deer in the headlight looks from a few of you!
Writing romance, obviously, takes a lot of time. We have to pick and choose our hero/heroine, what their plight will be, how to make it impossible for them to get together, but still have them get together in the end. The romance has to be tantalizing yet not overkill, emotion filled but not dripping with ughness (my new word….) It takes time to craft our wonderful romance-stories.
REAL romance takes time too. For those of you with significant others, you know that romance doesn’t just happen. Oh, there is that gooey feeling of love at the beginning, those times where it’s easy to be romantic. But as the relationship progresses, romance becomes something you have to work at. Put time, effort, and your heart into. When I was that teenager in awe of all that was the phenomenon of romance, it seemed so easy. So simple. Woo your mate, love them, make them feel special.
But life gets in the way. Kids need carpooled places, work demands your time, you are drained and really don’t feel like doing your hair or makeup to go out to dinner, and sweats become your favorite item of dress. Getting all ooh-la-la isn’t as easy or appealing anymore.
A marriage is worth the effort though, and romance should be a priority in all marriages. I’ve heard so many people complain, “The romance just isn’t there anymore.”
Well, duh! No, it’s not, because romance isn’t something that just happens. It’s something that you DO. Kinda like that saying we all came to love (think DC Talk) Love is a VERB!
Discussion: For you married folks out there, have you experienced this yet– or are you still honeymooning *grin*? What do YOU do (that can be shared publicly!) to keep romance alive in your marriage?
For me, I know I can do better at this. But sometimes it’s the little things too. Like making out in the kitchen (while my kids scream EWWWW and cover their eyes, ha!), or telling him that I love him on Facebook (it IS 2010 ya know!) or writing him a little note next to the bed that says, “I LOVE YOU!” so he sees it when he wakes up after I’m gone to work. Stupid little things, but they are intentional to make him feel special and loved.
Congratulations, Susan Reinhardt! You’re the winner of Kaye Dacus’ book, A Case for Love!