In 2003, I miscarried a baby. I was about 8 weeks along. We named her Abigail, even though we only had a gut feeling she was a girl.
Funny, I can’t TELL you how many people accidentally call Annabelle by the name Abigail. My heart squeezes every time, but I just smile and gently correct them. Still, it is a reminder of my little one who went to be with Jesus.
Abigail would be turning 8 this month.
After I miscarried, I heard a song on the radio. And I sobbed for about an hour. It quickly became my favorite song, and I couldn’t hear it without tears welling in my eyes.
Most of you probably know it. It is the extra little part toward the end that brings me to my knees every time.
“You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord Blessed be Your name.”
The day I heard it, it was a clear message to my heart. God gives us good things and blessings like little babies, but those things can also be taken away just as easily. But no matter what, I am to CHOOSE to bless his name. I may not always feel like it. But I can always put those feelings aside and make a choice to bless Him.
That is what I did with Abigail. And that is what I determined to do with Annabelle.
God reminded me of that this week.
|My grandpa holding Annabelle
Thursday was the one year anniversary of my Grandpa’s passing. My grandpa was one of the sweetest, most lovable guys you have ever met. He was ready to go see Jesus, so while we are sad for us, we are SO very happy for him. Yet, it is still sad, and I miss him. I would LOVE to walk into my Momma’s house and see him scribbling down football plays on his pad of paper (his favorite past time) or have him ask me to find him a wife again (as he did for the past year and a half after Grandma died… my Grandpa was a ladies man, and he did NOT like the idea of being alone.)
Yet on Friday, God gave our family a wonderful gift. The Johnson “boy”, baby Liam Ray Johnson, entered into this world! 7lb 15oz, 20.5 inches long! Annabelle and I went and saw him just hours after his birth, and OH MY GOODNESS he is cute! I LOVE BABIES!!!! Huge congrats to my little brother and his wife!
God gives us cute little babies to love and take care of, and takes away Grandpa’s to heaven to be with him.
Lord, blessed be YOUR name.
Oh, and I reported on Wednesday on how GREAT Annabelle was doing eating!
And she continued to eat great… until yesterday. She decided food wasn’t so grand for some unknown reason. We still feed her… it just isn’t NEARLY so easy (i.e. the whole binky trick and dealing with a baby pushing away food…)
He gives and takes away, but I still bless his name!
But at the risk of jinxing it… she has made some GREAT physical therapy improvement this week! She’s rolling over MUCH more, and is “willingly” pushing up her hands and neck when on her belly. Before this was a 100% forced position in which she cried the whole time. (note in the picture… it was quickly done tonight to show her new skills thus the blurriness, and yes, her leg IS under the couch… I fixed her right after taking the picture… HA!)
Moral of the story: There will be times when the giving equals out with the taking. And there will be other times where it just feels like God is taking away everything we hold dear. And other times when we sit in awe of all God gives us.
But regardless… choose today to say, “Lord, Blessed be YOUR name.”
In other news… I have a name for my book!! I actually had this last week, but wanted to make sure it was final, and thought it be fun to save that fun tid-bit for another blog.
So… Monday, you’ll find out what my book will be called! And, I’ll tell you a wee bit about it, too.
Hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend!
(Cheetah Fest at school on Friday… we had fun… Karalynn went off with her friends, thus no pictures of her! HA!)