Case in point.
I worked a good bit of the day on getting items ready to put in a local consignment sale. I also was a bit stuffy, having the start of a cold, and just wasn’t feeling 100%.
My kids were “bored” and wanted something to do, and honestly, sometimes I get frustrated that they can’t just figure something out. There are four of them. When I was a kid, we figured out something to play. It was rare that we actually complained of “boredom” unless we had somewhere specific we wanted to go, thus used the “bored” card as a means to then ask to do that particular thing.
My kids, who are armed with more toys and gadgets than I ever dreamed of having, are “bored” about 80% of the time.
It gets annoying.
And at times, I’ll admit. I get tired of it and just ignore their broken bored record.
But that only makes them more agitated.
So, on this particular Saturday, I was already in a blah mood. I was busy. I had the TV on while I ironed and sorted through old clothes/toys.
And my children, after a while, got tired of Mommy ignoring their, “I’M BORED” cries and proceeded to explain to me what a bad mother I was being for ignoring them.
Now, here is the thing—
They totally had a point. I was not feeling well and my energy was sapped and I wasn’t being the Mom they needed that day. How I was feeling does is NOT an excuse for slacking on the most important job God has given me, the one of “Mommy.”
But…. since when is it my children’s job to tell me how bad of a mom I am???? The Bible says, “HONOR” your parents not “CORRECT” your parents, right????
Such a fine line. One I haven’t figured out.
Regardless, I took issue with their correction.
And they took issue with me taking issue.
It wasn’t a pretty scene. Tears followed.
2 kids ended up on their beds. The third was smartly being quiet and stayed out of the whole thing.
I talked to each of them individually.
But the conversation with one of them stood out to me.
“Mom, you know, sometimes you ARE wrong. You’re not always right.”
I explained to her that I am well aware of that fact. I screw up EVERY SINGLE DAY. I am not perfect, and I know that.
I also explained that even though I’m not perfect, they do have to show me respect, even when I mess up. As a mother, it is my job to help them make wise decisions, to help guide them when they make not-so-wise decisions, and to show them consequences for actions.
We talked a lot about showing respect for those in authority over us, and how no one was perfect, even mommy and daddy’s. But that it doesn’t give us the right to be “mean” when someone makes a mistake.
We came to a compromise.
I would try to listen more and not ignore them, even when I wasn’t feeling well.
She was no longer allowed to rudely point out every mistake I make, that she would come to me instead and let me know how she was feeling, which is a MUCH nicer way of getting my attention than telling mean things at me.
Will this work?
Eh, maybe.. We’ll still mess up.
And I’ll still fail at this whole parenting thing… probably every day.
But don’t we all? Isn’t that what God’s grace is for? If we were always perfect, we wouldn’t need God. God’s power is made perfect in our weakness.
Thank you Jesus for that!!!
Have you ever had a time where you royally messed up at parenting or something else equally as important? How did you deal with it?
Oh, dear Lord, thank You for giving me boys!
Krista, I really appreciate this post….. I have 2 boys and not a day goes by that I feel that I was the best mom I could be to them…. I have a full time job besides being a wife and mom….. I feel like my time with them is never enough and that I never do enough with them … I have moments just like you had with all the tears… You are a great Mom from what I see .. who has been through a lot .. and like you said no one is perfect but our Lord. I am thankful that when we have those imperfect moments that there is always grace and mercy . God bless you , I pray you have a good week.
Comments are closed.