Hindsight is fabulous.
Have you ever just glanced to the past and been like, wow, if I could do it over again, I’d ________.
For the most part, I try not to do that. I want to live my life to the fullest TODAY, not spend my time bemoaning yesterday.
There can be value in reminiscing. Value in assessing “what went wrong” and “what went right.”
Because if you don’t learn from the past, as they say, you’re destined to repeat it.
Oh, and no poofy sleeves either.
Some days, I look back at our journey with Annabelle and I have definite regrets. Things I’d change and do differently.
Some of them are super goofy, like I’d have a super cool PRAY FOR PRINCESS ANNABELLE tshirt made for us to wear proudly. Geez, I might still do that! (tshirt design is not really my forte though, HA!)
And I’d have gone home more. Not a lot more, but I can see now that as a coping mechanism, I shut out super important people, namely my husband and kiddos, and was in total survival mode. While understandable, we are now reaping some of the consequences of that, and if I could knock some sense into my past self, I would. My other three kiddos suffered much more than they needed to. *I* suffered much more than I needed.
I’d have been more vocal in my opinions to the medical staff. For the first few months, I operated with this assumption that they knew everything and I knew nothing. While that was most of the time true, as I learned more being in the hospital, I realized the HUGE VALUE there is in being an active part of the care team for my child, not just a person that signs on the dotted line when asked. I’ve learned to question things, raise concerns, ask for second opinions, and that my medical team isn’t irritated when I question them (okay, well, MOST of them aren’t… and they ones who are will get over it.)
And I would have reached out to others going through the same thing sooner. For the first few months, I didn’t do that. But my mental health improved GREATLY once I allowed myself to connect with others going through the same thing.
So while I have a lot of things I can see that I’d love a do-over on…
I don’t dwell on them. I don’t bemoan my regrets. That’s a futile exercise that will only have bad consequences, namely Krista eating even MORE chocolate than she already does and then not being able to fit through the door….
Instead, I arm myself with lessons learn and march onward in God’s mercy, knowing that He will patch up the holes I made, mend the fences that I’ve trampled over, and help me to be a better wife and momma in the now.
Discussion: Do you struggle with letting go of past regrets? What mistakes have you learned from?