It is hard to believe that a week ago today, we got news that turned everything I knew onto its side. My little, perfect baby inside my belly has something not-so-perfect going on with her baby girl heart. I still don’t understand it, I still have fifteen billion questions, and the future still seems oh so scary, to be quite blunt.
But I’m coping. And that’s better than I can say for a week ago.
I spent last weekend pretty much crying 99% of the time. I was having issues anyway with being weepy with this pregnancy, and this just put me over the edge. I even cried during church, which I NEVER do (I’m one of those who cries just not in public if at all possible…)
But come Monday, I put on my big girl pants (Sherrinda… yes, I borrowed them from you! Amazing how they stretched… ) and went to work.
And let me tell you, it’s been a heck of a week. I’ve been busy, overwhelmed and everywhere I turn there’s something to fix, a problem to solve, someone needing my help. Not that it isn’t that way normally, but it was doubly so this week. And in some crazy way, I think God planned it, because I had even less time to sit and wallow in my pain and fear.
I also found out just a little bit more about baby’s condition this week, but not enough to really know what is going on to explain. I have 3 different Dr. Appointments over the next 2 weeks, and I hope they can answer my questions then.
My most urgent prayer request is for this Wednesday. I have a test to help tell if baby could have chromosome abnormalities which caused her heart condition. In my heart I don’t think anything else is wrong with her, I really don’t. But please just pray and believe with me that the tests will be negative for any other abnormalities.
And pray that I can be a big girl and get the test done without passing out at the thought of the very scary needle. Y’all, I give birth naturally with no epidural because I HATE needles and thought of one in my back gives me chills. The thought of one in my belly… *shudder*
But I know I’ll feel better ruling out the possibility, and it will help the doctors as they plan to give my baby the best care possible.
And, of course, I’m still praying that the doctor’s are amazed when they find that God has healed my little girl’s heart.
Discussion: Have you ever had to do something you were petrified of?