Yes, I’m blogging at 4:10 in the morning 🙁
Nurse woke me up, Annabelle took a bad turn again, one of her lungs collapsed, so she is back on her ventilator and they are giving her some of her old medicine again, one that previously made her BP drop so now I’m worried (UGH FINE CONCERNED) about that too. LA LA LA. Plus, she has a fever again, so they are drawing labs to see why and giving her Tylenol.
It is a NOT a good night and I REALLY want to cry but my hubby is at home and it’s completely horrible to cry by yourself in front of all the doctor’s and nurses.
Anyway, that is my sob story for the night and I’m going to try and go back to sleep and hope I’m dreaming and that I wake up and she’s still doing well.
That is so frustrating, Krista. So very frustrating. Has she had a fever before?
Yes, she had one last week too and they did a culture and found out she had E.Coli. Tell me, how the heck does a baby in the hospital get that??? It's not like she's eating Spinach!!!
They gave her antibiotics for that though, that stopped on Sunday. So who knows, maybe it's back, but we'll see. It could just have to do with her collapsed lung too.
Still praying for all of you, and hoping this is just one of those valleys that precious, fragile children have to go through. And don't hesitate to let your emotions flow in front of the docs and nurses. They get it. When Rach was in the PICU, she had some of the best nurses ever.
Ask to see a social worker if you want to cry in front of someone though people in the medical profession really understand. That was my job when I did it. praying!
So glad you have somewhere to reach out when hurting.
I'm slightly better this morning:-) Annabelle is still the same, but mommy was going on zero sleep last night and *sigh*. It was just hard news.
Bright note: the medicines that they put her back on that I did NOT like.. the morning doctor's came in and took her right back off. They will only give it to her in spot doses IF she needs it (vs in her IV when she gets it and stays 100% doped up 100% of the time, which is YUCK YUCK YUCK!)
Oh, praying for you and Annabelle!
The nights are the worst. Our ability to cope is at a low ebb, and everything seems bigger and scarier.
I'm so glad God doesn't sleep.
Oh Krista – that is SOOOOOO FRUSTRATING and awful for you alone in the middle of the night. You can go right ahead and cry in front of all those Dr.s They will understand…. Will have to pray MORE for that precious little girl.
Love and hugs…..
Praying for her healing and the doctor's wisdom, Krista!!
I just want to give you a hug. Imagine. BIG CYBER HUG!
I can't even imagine the roller coast of emotions you must ride everyday.
Praying for you.
Oh, my, I think you should just cry next time. I know how it feels to be stressed in the middle of the night, and I've never gone through anything this difficult.
About the E.Coli–it's just a bacteria, like many others, that's present in our world. But you probably already knew that. It's a good thing to keep perspective, though. We live in a symbiotic relationship with bacteria. Your little one needs bacteria in order to survive–she just needs the good stuff rather than the bad.
Let me clarify my "need" to cry. I DID cry, as in let out tears, but was just holding back the gut-wrenching, embarrassing wailing I wanted to do at the time that only my hubby is privileged (ha) to hear:-) A girl has got to have a WEE bit of pride anyway!
Now, the night they did CPR a few days after her surgery, yeah, they about had to do CPR on ME after that phone call. NOT good stuff.
THANK YOU all for your prayers and support. I appreciate it!!
They are saying now that they think it may have still just been fatigue and malnourishment. She's about 4 oz below her birth weight at a month old, so they are going to try and "fatten" her up over the next few days and try again.
THANKS for pointing that out Jill. The nurse said the same thing. And whereas I KNOW it is not as outrageous as it sounds, it still sounds yucky to know my baby had it!! I think it's also weird that they have found it immediately after having her tube put back in each time. NOt sure if one has to do with the other though, probably not.
My heart aches for this. Yesterday I felt the need to pray for you. Oh, may God grant His peace during this ordeal.
Oh Krista, I am thinking of you, your family, and Annabelle a lot! I can imagine that this would be frustrating, terrifying, and an easy spot to loose faith. But I know that you know that everything happens for a reason. It's not fun now, but God has a plan for little Annabelle. The future may seem grim, but with all these prayers from all these people, something good is sure to happen!
Thinking of you all,
Krista, I've been absent from social networking for a while and missed all the updates. Praying for you and Annabelle!
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